My Connections to Play

We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

-George Bernard Shaw

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation.

-Plato

As a young child I loved dramatic play. It didn’t matter if it was the house section of kindergarten or the fort in the back yard, there was something about pretend play that I really enjoyed.

One of the biggest supports of my play was time. We were not only encouraged but at times often kicked, outside to play. My siblings and friends would spend hours “unsupervised” in the back yard or around the neighborhood creating our fantasy worlds. My mom would interrupt for meal times and that was about it. The rest of the time we were free to create.

                                            

Unfortunately with the change of the times, I am unable to give my children the kind of freedom I had as a child. As a working mom, I do not have the time at home that my mother did. In addition with the way society is today there are so many more safety concerns. We feel like we have to be constantly on guard and unless your back yard is fenced (ours is not) letting the kids outside to play on their own for elongated periods of time can be frightening. While my boys do get free time to explore the things that they are fascinated by, the amount of time provided for that exploration is considerably less.

On the upside having three little boys has helped me to learn all different areas of play. While they do have a flair for the dramatic it isn’t quite the same as when I was little. They are teaching me all about super heroes, video games, “weapons” of war, and strategy. I even have a little artist in the making who continually invites me to color with him and I have to admit there are few things more relaxing than coloring a picture with my little man. Taking the time to play with my guys provides quality one on one time with them, fosters our family bonds and is just fun. It takes me away from the stress of adulthood for a few moments and reminds me about the true purpose of life and what is most important.

You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with – Jim Rohn

When I hear this it reminds me of how truly important relationships are and how important it is to make the right ones prominent in your life. The people with whom we choose to spend most of our time have a great impact on us both positively and negatively. Choosing those who add to your life is crucial.

You are not a chicken! -John Bytheway

This quote reminds me of a story John Bytheway told about his first date with his wife. They decided to stop by the grocery store and pick up some food for a picnic. Once they arrived at their camp spot they cooked the chicken they purchased. As he ate he was amazed at how great this chicken tasted. Upon commenting on it, his date told him that it was because it was marinated. The chicken had been sitting in a combination of soy, honey and a few other spices. Over time the marinade had worked its way into the chicken, changing the flavor. Sometimes in life we find ourselves in situations where the people we have to spend the most time with are not the most positive. If we let them, they can change our flavor. However, we need to remember that we are not chicken and have the ability to fight against the negative influences of others and remain true to ourselves and who we wish to be.

When it comes to the most positive relationships in my life, my family is at the top of the list. I have a great husband and three wonderful little boys (10, 7 & 5). They each bring such joy into my life and are the drive behind everything I do. Kapono, our oldest, makes me smile. He is such a genuinely loving and caring child. Quiet in nature with a dramatic streak that comes out every so often, I can always count on him to bring me a smile of pride and gratitude for the fabulous young man he is becoming. Akeakamai makes me laugh. Ever the class clown he loves the spot light and enjoys having friends around him. His genuine laugh is like a little taste of heaven and the energy he brings to our home is infectious. Makana is our youngest and the one that fills me with amazement. He is by all definitions an artist. His creative nature comes out in all types of mediums and continually reminds me to find the beauty in even the simplest of things.

While these guys may not be the ones I spend the most waking hours with, they are the ones I want to spend the most time with.

In addition to my family I have a great friend Laura. While she is about 15 yrs. my senior our friendship proves that age is just a number. We have a great many values in common and have over the years invested a lot of time in supporting each other with the challenges we each face. While we are not the kind of friends who go out shopping together or meet up for lunch frequently, the common goals we share and the ability to trust one another lets each of know that we are there for one another no matter the need.

Over the years I have seen a great number of relationships struggle to deal with the effects of assumptions, pride, ego, distance and time constraints. These experiences have taught me that the relationships take work. They don’t just magically appear and continue to grow without some effort. Those that are most important to you are going to require a little time and effort.

Knowing this helps me as a professional to remember that people are the key.  Whether it is the relationship with the family or the child, you will not be able to reach your potentional without forming solid relationships with those you are serving.